. . . you are in the perfect place. Always.

Dear Carina,

Do you believe in fate?
And can you say more about fate?

I have a belief that I will someday again marry, and my question is, do you believe things are predestined? Will it just happen that I meet him, or do I need to make it happen?

Jourdan

* * * * * * *

Dear Jourdan,

I thank you so much for your question. It is a beautiful thing to contemplate.

I believe that everything is as is, as I recently heard Deepak Chopra say. That is-ness is infinite and now. Everything that has ever happened, everything that ever will happen, everything that's happening now: it's all this instant. I have a gesture I make when I'm describing this. My words seem lacking.

I snap the fingers of my right hand, while moving my arm in a dropping motion, with the snap landing as the hand drops into this moment. There is nothing else.

And there is no other way this moment could be. Is that fate? I think it might be. Sometimes I call it karma. I may be contrasting other definitions of the word. I say it as in meant to be. And tell me, how can anything not be?

There is no other way this moment could be. And there's no other way any moment in the past could be other than what it was. Everything is as is. Just listen to the messages around you. They are telling you this. The Universe speaks to us, every moment.

Do you need to act in order to meet your husband? I don't know. But whatever is, is. Whatever is destined cannot help but to be, so you don't have to worry about it. The Universe has it orchestrated. You can relax.

I believe that we just look inside. We quiet down. We surrender our life to the Lord - get out of our thinking mind - and we live in peace. We can have it even better than we can imagine. And wonderfully and paradoxically, to get going on that river, we just have to take our hands off the wheel, or oars, as the case may be.

Deep clarity, presence, love of God, faith, . . . these seem to be very helpful in helping us navigate the waters of the flow.

A few of my favorite of multitudes of great resources are: The Science of Getting Rich, published in 1910 by an awake and wise soul, Wallace D. Wattles. A great foundation for creating out of the infinite, our true nature. And of course, The Power of Now. I have the audio recording of the book. Listening to Eckhart Tolle speak is like listening to Jesus through my headphones. {That dropping snap} gesture says it again.

What else is there?

Jourdan, you are blessed. You are a beloved child of God, and you are in the perfect place. Always.

Love to you all,

Carina

If other questions arise from this writing, please email
nowstayopen@gmail.com.

There is Space Behind it and Within You

Dear Carina,

I feel overwhelmed because I have too much on my plate. I'm basically a single parent dealing with the death of my parents and moving to a city where i don't have a support network. Moving back to Toronto is hard because I am struggling with everything from culture shock to relearning this city as a mother to dealing people who are trying to take advantage of me to just bad luck. Everything is a constant battle. Nothing just happens smoothly.

For example. I ordered Canadian cheques and a Canadian credit card to pay for my rent to my new apt. The bank lost my cheques and credit card and I had to pay to stay in a hotel room while they sorted things out. I had to walk to the bank in the cold with my daughter everyday to see if they had the cheques. Finally when they got the cheques, I paid my landlord's sister. One day, I had a raving lunatic at my door demanding I go to the bank with him this instant because my account lacked funds and a bunch of other really ridiculous requests. Long story short. Small minor error in the writing of the cheque. All he had to do was ask me to rewrite the cheque without all the drama. Everyday is like this, drama, drama and more drama. Just a lot of bad luck and lots of drama with everything. I feel like I'm attracting this bad energy that is attracting bad people and bad luck.

I know I need some time to get used to a new life in a new city. I just wish it wasn't so crazy. Is there a way to get rid of this bad luck?

*christina*

* * * * * * *

Dear Christina,

In your asking you are opening space and welcoming support. It's beautiful.

Any slice of quiet mind that you can get lets in some space.

Even if it doesn't seem relieving in the moment, anytime you can bring yourself right here: into your body, your bottom on the chair, your fingers on the keyboard or holding that sandwich, feeling one breath; you connect with the stillness that is our ultimate source of peace and comfort.

At times of my roughest suffering, when I can't seem to get out of an emotional state that's really working me over, I pray. Sometimes it takes me a while to get to that point. I'll tolerate the discomfort for a few days - sometimes longer, and then I remember. One day when I felt completely at a loss, I learned to lay myself out on the ground, asking for mercy and caring. Somewhere way inside, I knew there was protection in that supplication, infinite, and giant compared to the comforts of this world. It worked.

We pray, and it works because we know it will.

During moments of seeing no relief, there is one source to ask.

There is emptiness behind all life situations (and you know this). This emptiness is synonymous with the infinite love of our creator: that which always has you in her loving arms, into which you can relax.

Christina, beautiful, perfect sister, here's a poem I read today and thought of you:

In the world of Oneness,
there is nothing but yourself,
there is no room for counting.

But in the world of things
there is so much counting.

You may count a thousand apples in your hand --
If you want them all to be one,
make applesauce.

You may count a thousand grapes in your hand --
If you want the precious wine,
crush them all together.



The message behind the words
is the voice of the heart.
The source of all activity
is that utter stillness.

Now Shams-e Tabriz is in the royal seat
and all my rhymes
have lined up like willing slaves.

~ Rumi (translated by Jonathan Star)

Bump up that self care and take luxurious care of yourself. And PLEASE don't make yourself wrong for anything you're feeling. You are a perfect being of God.

Love,

Carina

P.S. I highly recommend the chapter on the Pain Body in Eckhart Tolle's A New Earth. Seems like you might recognize something here.

If other questions arise from this writing, please email
nowstayopen@gmail.com.

Allow Your Mind to Rest and Allow the Universe to Let You Know

Dear Carina,

I'm in a job I don't enjoy, working for people whose "values" don't resonate with me, and work for/with micromanagers. The work environment is stressful and the majority of the people are unhappy (employee morale is at an all-time low). How do I maintain my positive outlook and release the stress in my body (I hurt all over, especially my jaw, and even as I write about
this to you, my body tenses) until my work environment changes to something more suitable? I am trying to show little kindnesses to others at work (bringing in cookies, giving hugs and words of encouragement) to be of service and add a little light to everyone's experience.

I am grateful for any advice you have to offer.

With love and gratitude,
Michelle

* * * * * * *

Dear Michelle,

Thank your for your thoughtful sharing. I can tell this is a situation that weighs heavily on you, and I feel for you.

What I want to tell you right away is that years ago I found myself in a situation that I would describe as very similar to what you describe. I was miserable and felt totally stuck, not seeing what direction I should - or even could - take. I used to say, "I hate my job," all the time, and it was so painful to have the word "hate" coming out my mouth so much.

I tell you this straight away because I want you to know that I am living proof that these things shift. So just know that.

In asking the questions that you are asking, you are asking the Universe to shift. You are acknowledging that you - and your thinking mind - don't see the solution.

That's key here. Solutions to these kinds of conundrums don't arise from the thinking mind, from strategic planning sessions, and definitely not from getting on board with the others in the work environment who are also feeling oppressed.

Anything that you can do to shift yourself from your thinking, strategizing mind to your quiet, spacious, true self is a key turning the lock that you find yourself held by.

I'm going to recommend a couple of tools to you. These both made a big difference for me during those years back at my job where I was desperate for a shift.

1. Read Eckhart Tolle's A New Earth, Awakening to Your Life's Purpose. Then read it again. There is so much in here that will give you access to all sorts of freedom on multiple levels in your work situation and beyond. He is anchoring you in your true home and is showing you {what I discovered with great relief} the true purpose of all experience. It is profound, compassionate, and powerful.

2. Consider taking a training and development course like the Landmark Forum. Landmark courses have invaluable training in high-level communication for which I'll always be pleased and grateful. Their intensive weekend was where I headed in my own work-life-desperation. I got so much more out of it than I'd expected, AND I was able to get a lot of relief in my experience in the workplace, and then I could truly bring that cheer that you are doing your best to bring now.

By the time I finally left that job, I was much more confident, clear and peaceful about my choices, rather than feeling like I was fleeing from an oppressor.

Michelle, I have all faith in you and in your open-hearted path. You already know everything I'm saying here.

Take extra good care of yourself, treating yourself like the precious jewel that you are. Keep letting the Universe know that you surrender your questioning to Its perfect wisdom and allow yourself some quiet so that you can hear both the subtle and overt answers.

All love,

Carina

If other questions arise from this writing, please email nowstayopen@gmail.com.

Send Your Organizing Mind on Vacation

Dear Carina,

How do I stay open, and in that creative space... when it really really really seems like I have "too much to do"... do I remove things from my schedule? Make the "doing" of life simpler?

* * * * * * *

Dear Friend,

Thank you so much for your beautiful question, and for christening our new site! Blessings to you and to all.

You naturally have that space of creativity within you. It is what created you and what continues to create. In asking to be receptive to it, you are making space for it in your life. Your intention is there and is welcomed by the Divine. It wants to awaken to what it's capable of doing, to the magic and joy that's available. It loves to delight in itself.

This is to say, J, that you ARE CREATIVE SPACE, no matter what else is happening. If your outside circumstances look very full, you can still maintain the easy buzz of relaxed and spacious life.

The paradox is that the space may appear while maintaining a very full life.

One way you can play with this is to feel your inner body periodically throughout your day. You can feel within your torso, the bottoms of your feet, your fingers (hands and feet are usually pretty easy places to feel life flow). You can do a gentle scan and feel sensations in different parts of the body. This brings you right here, into the openness of the moment, into alignment with creative source.

Another thing you can do is shift your focus from objects around you to the space between the objects, and, at the same time, feel yourself within your body. Allow your body and being to recognize the space that it is.

You may find in time that the opening of space in this way naturally leads you to a schedule that feels less full. You may find that some activities you used to enjoy or feel obligated to do don't seem as important anymore. When spaciousness becomes a priority, space will open. Or you may find yourself balancing skillfully the world of inner stillness and outer production. Our friend Jeff Klein wrote an article in his blog Working for Good - Making a Difference While Make a Living about just this sort of thing.

And YES, you CAN take things off of your schedule! You can go inside and know how in alignment you really feel with activities and you can see where you might make some space available for yourself. If productivity is the goal, I personally feel much more productive when I listen to myself and rest and make space for rest when I need it. If I take a full day off, I'm ready the next day. Or, maybe I take off another day and rest some more.

Turn your desire over to the Divine itself. You need not will yourself to do anything differently. You need not feel pressured, even to create what you want to create. You can ask in prayer for what you want and allow the Divine to move you. We don't have to be in charge. Surrender, my dear.

If it's more space and creativity that we want, we can ask for it. We can send our organizing mind on vacation from having to figure anything out. Then our deepest wisdom has space to arise, speaking to us directly from that place of joyful creation, our true nature.

Much love and crayons,

Carina

p.s. At the risk of adding one more "should" to your world, may I recommend Julia Cameron's renowned course, The Artist's Way, for really digging into what your deep desires are and for exfoliating imposed tasks. Even if you do nothing else from the course, the exercise of writing daily "Morning Pages" can have a space-making and creative effect in surprising ways. You may suddenly find yourself picking up that guitar. Consider yourself warned!

I also recommend the 1910 masterpiece, The Science of Getting Rich by Wallace D. Wattles. This tiny and truly rich book reminds us to work steadily but never hurriedly. The rushing, says Mr. Wattles, is born out of fear of lack. He also trains us in always working with the "Supreme Power" which is that same creative source and space that you ask about -- and which is in us at all times. Says Mr. Wattles, we cannot fail.

If other questions arise from this writing, please email nowstayopen@gmail.com.